


Tired

by LaityAllyn



Series: Tired series [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Suicide, Brotherly Love, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Language, Past Suicide Attempts, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Underfell, kill-or-be-killed, mild anxiety, no romantic love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-08-28 19:23:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16729257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaityAllyn/pseuds/LaityAllyn
Summary: Underfell Sans is tired, he just wants it to end





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> heads up this is my first time trying my hand at writing, constructive criticism is welcome but please don't argue with me over how a fantasy world is set up. this is my take on the characters and the world so please keep that in mind. Enjoy!

It was such a simple request, 

All Papyrus wanted was for his brother to sit through a single shift without falling asleep. Was that too much to ask? 

Apparently.

Sans, the skeleton in question stood in the entry to their kitchen, silently listening to his brother berating him for his laziness. He had fallen asleep and slept well through the end of his shift. Papyrus had noticed his brother’s absence when he came home from working the later shift and found their house empty. Needless to say, he was worried. Their world was kill or be killed after all. While most of the townspeople knew well to steer away from incurring the wrath of either of the skeleton brothers, the constant trickle of monsters from the overcrowded capital did not, and while Sans was not an easy target, his abnormally low HP and attack of 1 would make him a target to even the weakest of monsters. Papyrus’s first move was to call his brother. When met with the factory notice that told him that his brother hadn't even bothered to set up an inbox for voicemails, his next move was to go find his brother himself, but as he turned off the oven so it wouldn't burn the house down in his absence he heard the front door open.

“GET OVER HERE,” the tall skeleton demanded, “ WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?”

“Fell asleep” mumbled Sans, not making eye contact but having the decency to look ashamed.

“YOU FELL ASLEEP!” roared Papyrus, “WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU GO A SINGLE STAR DAMNED SHIFT WITHOUT FALLING ASLEEP YOU LAZY ASS?”

“ sorry boss” Sans mumbled

“IF YOU WERE FUCKING SORRY THEN MAYBE YOU WOULD FUCKING NOT DO IT!” shouted Papyrus as all the stress from worrying if his brother was dust out in the forest turned to anger at his brother's lack of self-preservation.

Sans flinched, still not making eye contact.

“I DON'T SEE WHY YOU CAN'T DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME BROTHER. ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU ACTUALLY DO YOUR FUCKING JOB FOR ONCE. I DON'T ASK THAT MUCH OF YOU. IF YOU DON'T WANT ANY FUCKING RESPONSIBILITIES THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST GO. I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN BABYSIT YOU.”

With that Papyrus turned from his brother and began to busy himself with making dinner. He didn't see his brother silently turn and walk towards the front door. Over the clanging of pots and pans he didn't even hear the door open.  
____________________________________________


	2. Chapter 2

Sans knew his brother was right, he was a burden, a distraction. He would never live up to his brother’s standards. He tried to stay awake he really tried, he brushed his hand down the sleeve of his left arm, feeling the new wounds he had put there today, hoping that the pain would keep him awake. It hadn’t worked, he had barely slept the night before, his nightmares keeping him awake. As he turned and exited the kitchen and slowly walked towards the front door, he paused as a thought crossed his mind. He looked at his worn tennis shoes sitting near the door and his black jacket hanging just above them on a hook. He made up his mind, leaving them where they were and walking out the door in nothing but his socks, shorts, and turtleneck sweater. His feet were cold the moment they touched the snow but he ignored the pain. Instead, he looked up at the ceiling of the vast cavern that was their home, watching the snowflakes as they fell to the ground. There was going to be a storm soon, he could feel it in his bones. He smiled at his joke and began his slow walk into the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to offer any constructive criticism in the comments, emphasis on constructive


	3. Chapter 3

After the dinner preparations were done Papyrus’s head was a lot clearer. After putting the lasagna in the oven he sat down at the kitchen table and rested his face in his hands, thinking about his conversation with Sans. he hadn’t meant to go so hard on his brother, all he wanted was for him to care about his own safety. He thought back to the end of their conversation when he had told Sans to leave, stars, had he really said that? 

The oven let out a soft ding in indication that dinner was ready. With a sigh Papyrus took out the lasagna and set it on the table, setting a place for the two of them as well. He knew he owed his brother an apology. Instead of yelling for his brother to come down like he usually did, Papyrus walked upstairs to his brother's room and knocked softly on the door.

“DINNERS READY,” he said, trying to keep his voice gentler than before.

There was no answer.

Papyrus knocked again, “SANS.”

But there was still no answer.

Feeling slightly nervous, Papyrus opened the door just a crack, not wishing to invade his brother’s privacy, but he found the room empty.

Turning away from his brother’s room papyrus called out a little louder “SANS.”

No reply.

Digging his cellphone out of his pocket, Papyrus dialed his brother’s number. To his relief, he heard Sans’s phone ring in the house but his relief soon turned to dread when he saw the jacket and shoes by the door. He ran down the stairs and flung the front door wide. He was met with the sight of a trail of footprints leading into the forest. Beginning to panic, Papyrus grabbed Sans’s jacket from its hook by the door and ran off to follow the footprints.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constructive criticism is welcome, as long as it's constructive


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a bit longer than I am used to posting

Papyrus was on high alert now, it had been nearly two and a half hours since their “argument”. Guilt seemed to make his soul feel heavy from where it hung in his ribcage. He knew this was his fault, all he ever did was yell at his brother. It came from a good place though. Deep down he worried about his brother, a lot, Sans never seemed to care about his own wellbeing and to be honest that scared Papyrus. He was always nagging the smaller skeleton, reminding him in his own gruff way that he needed to do things like eat, or take care of his injuries. Papyrus could remember numerous occasions when Sans had come home from a shift with a small gash or a hairline fracture and simply blown it off, pretending it wasn't there and risking infection. 

Papyrus stopped short when he realized that the regularly gentle falling of snow had whipped up into a wall of white, he couldn't see more than 5 feet in any direction. He began to follow the trail again, but no matter how fast he ran he lost the tracks to the whirling snow. He sank to his knees as tears threatened to fall out of his sockets.

“SANS!” he cried, not caring who heard him, “WHERE ARE YOU!”

There was no reply

He sat there in the snow, holding Sans’s jacket close to his chest. Suddenly just as soon as the storm had started, it stopped, just like the magical weather patterns of the underground often did. Papyrus looked around but to his dismay, the snow around him was as pristine as if he had never been there, there were no footprints to follow, not even his own. Papyrus sat there in the snow as he began to lose hope of ever seeing his brother alive again until he heard something in the distance, a soft rattling. Could it be? He stood up, heading toward the noise. As he entered a small clearing he saw him. Slumped against a tree and half buried in the snow was Sans, shivering so badly that his bones were audibly rattling. Papyrus rushed over to his brother and brushed the snow off of him. He was barely breathing which wasn't a good sign. Skeletons didn’t need to breathe but breathing was regulated by magic, if Sans wasn't breathing it was because he didn't have any magic left to breathe. Because they were skeletons, they relied more on magic than any other monster, while other monsters had more physical bodies held together by muscles and skin, skeletons relied on magic to keep their bodies together. If Sans’s magic got too low he would fall down and dust. Papyrus ran a quick check on his brother, the results were not good,

Sans the Skeleton  
1 ATK   
1 DEF  
4 LV  
0.4/1 HP  
* he just wants to rest

Papyrus knew there was no time to waste, he wrapped his brother gently in his jacket and held him close to his chest like he was a baby. With Sans secure in his arms he set off for home at a light jog, worried that any faster and he would trip and drop his brother. 

When they arrived home, Papyrus set his brother on the rug in front of the fireplace, started a fire, and went upstairs to grab a towel, some blankets, and a dry pair of clothes. Kneeling next to his brother he began to dry off the smaller skeleton, who had stopped shivering thanks to the warmth of the fire. Papyrus started at Sans’s skull, being extra gentle when he ran the towel over the scar that ran through his brother’s left eye socket. When all the exposed bone was dry, papyrus gently began to pull off his brother’s red turtleneck but when the wet fabric peeled away from his brother’s wrists, he froze.

Sans’s forearms were littered with what seemed to be thousands of scars. The bones were covered in scars that were a mix of being years old and some that couldn’t be more than a week old. Papyrus caught sight of Sans’s left arm and felt guilt weigh his soul down so much it was painful. The wounds he saw there were from today, there was no doubt about it, they had just barely scabbed over and the friction of the sweater dragging across the wounds had broken the scabs. Papyrus grabbed the towel and wrapped it around Sans’s wrist to stop the blood flow and as quickly as he could he ran upstairs to the bathroom to grab the first aid kit they kept under the sink. When he returned he disinfected the wounds to ward off any chance of infection, and carefully bandaged both of his brother’s arms. 

When he had finished drying off the small skeleton he dressed him in a clean t-shirt and the only pair of pajama pants his brother owned. He carried Sans up to his room and set him on the bed, after looking around for a blanket he found it on the floor of his brother’s closet,. Papyrus grabbed a couple more blankets from the closet in the hallway and covered up his brother, making sure he was warm. Sans’s breathing was still shallow and uneven so Papyrus grabbed a chair from the table downstairs and set it near his brother’s bed, prepared to sit with him until he woke up. Papyrus fished his phone out of his pocket and called Undyne to tell her that neither him or Sans would be at work tomorrow. After the call was made he settled back into his chair to wait. He had no healing magic or else he would have healed Sans immediately. Without it, there was nothing for him to do but wait for his brother to wake up so he could eat and replenish his magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this far! feel free to leave constructive criticism in the comments


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the longest one I've written yet. Thanks for being here!

Sans woke up to find himself not dead, which was surprising and disappointing. When he sat up his entire body ached. Sans felt frustration well up in his soul, he had been so close. He was too afraid to do it himself, after a lecture similar to the one he had just gotten from his brother he had tried swallowing an entire bottle of sleeping medication he bought from the shop just for that occasion, it hadn’t worked, he didn't need to breathe so hanging himself or jumping into the river weren’t options. He was too afraid to cut deep enough to bleed out, he had hoped that this time the cold would finally finish him off. Tears of frustration began to build in the corners of his sockets. Of course it wouldn’t work, it was too good for him, he didn't deserve an easy way out. His mind wandered back to his previous attempts to end his life, he had backed out of almost every one, one time he had tried to jump off one of the cliffs in Waterfall. He had panicked and teleported out at the last moment, he was afraid of the pain. A sudden thought crossed his mind, he experimentally tried to call on his reserve magic and was met with a wave of dizziness. He had none left.

Slowly a plot came together in his mind, he glanced at the clock, it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon, Papyrus wouldn’t be home from his shift for another two hours. If he left now he wouldn’t have to lie about where he was going, about what he was going to do. If he made it to Waterfall without getting dusted by another monster he could jump, it would be finished, he wouldn't have enough magic to teleport away. He made up his mind and swung his legs off the edge of the bed. However, when he tried to stand he felt lightheaded and when his vision cleared he was lying on the floor.

Suddenly his door was opened and Papyrus rushed in the door, setting the mug in his hand on the nightstand and placing his brother back in bed.

“I LEAVE FOR FIVE MINUTES TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE AND YOU ARE ALREADY ON THE FLOOR” Papyrus grumbled disapprovingly.

Sans let himself meet Papyrus’s gaze, there was no obvious anger in it but his brother had dark circles under his eye sockets. Just now noticing the chair next to his bed Sans realized that he was the reason for the shadows under his brother’s eyes. If only he had the courage to finish the job, then Papyrus wouldn't have to clean up his messes. He looked away from his brother, looking at his hands that were clenched in his lap in an effort to stop them shaking. He felt horrible, he was a burden, a waste of space. He felt the tears from earlier finally spill from his sockets and run down his cheeks.

“s-s-sorry b-boss” he managed to stutter quietly.

“ WE NEED TO TALK.”

Sans could only nod, the tears kept coming harder and faster until he was gasping for breath. Of course they needed to talk, Sans braced himself for angry words, he had caused his brother so much trouble over the last few days. His clenched fists tightened around each other, the tips of his fingers digging into the weak bone and drawing blood. He expected to be yelled at, to be told what he already knew, he was worthless, a waste of space, nothing but a burden on his younger brother, he couldn’t do anything right.

What he was not expecting was for his brother to firmly pull apart his hands and gently run his fingers along the bandaged wrists.

“I’M SO SORRY”

What? Had Sans heard that right? Why was Papyrus trying to apologize to him, he had done nothing wrong, it had been Sans, Sans should be the one apologizing right now, not him. Sans’s head snapped up and he looked at his brother. Papyrus was kneeling next to the bed so he was eye level with Sans, but he didn't make eye contact, instead he was looking at Sans’s wrists. With shock Sans realized that his brother was crying, he couldn’t remember the last time his brother had broken down in front of him.

“I’M...sniff...SO..S-SORRY” Papyrus whimpered “I H-HAVEN’T B-BEEN A GOOD BROTHER.”

“what,” Sans said softly “no, of course you have, the problem isn't you it’s me. can’t you see that? i’m the problem here, if i wasn’t here you-”

Sans was cut off by Papyrus pulling him into a tight hug. He could feel that the taller skeleton’s violent trembling. Sans felt guilty about it but he couldn’t find it in him to hug his brother back.

“I T-THOUGHT I WA-WAS G-GOING TO L-L-LOSE YOU” Papyrus sobbed, “ IT T-TOOK AN HOUR F-FOR ME T-T-TO REALIZE YOU HAD GONE A-AND ALMOST TWO MORE T-TO SEARCH THE FOREST...sniff...A-AND WHEN I F-FOUND YOU YOUR HP WAS S-SO LOW AND THEN I SAW Y-YOUR WR-WRISTS A-AND …” he trailed off, clinging tighter to Sans as if he would disappear at any moment. 

Sans felt even more guilty. He hadn’t thought to take his little brother into consideration, he had simply assumed his brother would be better off with him gone, happier even. But the next few words out of his brother’s mouth made him regret his oversight.

“PLEASE…DON’T LEAVE ME” 

The words were spoken so desperately, they snapped Sans into action. He wriggled his arms free and wrapped them around his brother, returning the hug. They stayed like that in silence for a few minutes until Sans pulled away, seating himself on the carpet in front of his brother. Papyrus sniffed and wiped the tears from his sockets. Sans took a deep breath, knowing that this part of the conversation was his responsibility.

“i’ll stay with ya paps,” Sans said softly, “i’ll do whatever ya want.” 

He managed a weak smile, the idea that someone wanted him filling his soul with joy. 

“I WANT YOU TO STAY. I’M SORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAID YESTERDAY, I DON’T WANT YOU TO LEAVE. I WAS JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU. IT’S DANGEROUS FOR YOU TO FALL ASLEEP ALONE OUT IN THE FOREST AND I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WEREN’T TAKING GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF. I SHOULD HAVE PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER A LONG TIME AGO, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T EATING REGULARLY, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T SLEEPING WELL BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO SO I JUST GOT MAD AT YOU. I’M NOT GOOD WITH FEELINGS AND I’D RATHER JUST IGNORE THEM UNTIL THEY GO AWAY. I’M SORRY, I’VE BEEN A POOR EXCUSE FOR A BROTHER LATELY. I-”

“don’t talk about yourself like that bro, it’s not your fault “ interrupted Sans.

“BUT IT PARTIALLY IS,” replied Papyrus, his frustration rising, “ I COULDN’T SEE THAT YOU WERE HURTING AND IN THE END I ONLY MADE IT WORSE.” 

Tears began rolling down Papyrus’s cheeks again and Sans reached out a hand to brush them away but before he could pull away Papyrus caught him by the wrist and ran his fingers along the bandages.

“CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?” he said softly, almost afraid that if he spoke any louder he would spook his brother and the conversation would be over. ‘I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT IT,” he added quickly, still holding on to Sans’s wrist. Sans was not looking at his brother anymore, he was looking anywhere else. The walls, the dresser, the door, anywhere that meant he didn’t have to meet his brothers gaze.

“SANS”

The tone was gentle but firm and Sans found himself looking at his brother. What he saw there made him want to cry all over again. There was no anger, only concern, Papyrus was visibly upset and it was his fault. Now it was his turn to start crying again. 

“HEY, SHHH, YOUR FINE, I’M NOT MAD” mumbled Papyrus, pulling his brother into another hug and gently wiping the tears from his brother’s cheeks. “IT’S FINE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW, JUST PROMISE ME SOMETHING.”

“what?”

“WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE DOING THIS,” he gestured to Sans’s wrists, “JUST TELL ME OK? I DON’T CARE IF IT’S ONE IN THE MORNING OR IF I’M IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SHIFT. TELL ME, I’LL FIND US SOMETHING TO DO TOGETHER UNTIL YOU FEEL BETTER, ALRIGHT?

“alright”

The two of them stayed like that for a while until the silence was broken by the grumbling of Sans’s nonexistent stomach. Sans grimaced, he had skipped out on breakfast and lunch yesterday and had left the house before dinner. It was now well into the afternoon so he had missed both breakfast and lunch today.

“THAT’S RIGHT, YOU NEED TO EAT, YOU NEED TO REPLENISH YOUR MAGIC,” exclaimed Papyrus standing up and in the process, picking up Sans like a child. He carried him downstairs and set him on the couch, handing his brother the TV remote before he went to the kitchen to make an early dinner for them both. Sans didn’t know if he could handle watching TV, Papyrus carrying him down the stairs had made him dizzy like when he had tried to stand before, he wasn’t sure if he could do with flashing lights, so instead he stretched out on the couch and listened to the familiar sounds of his brother cooking some type of pasta.  
Soon Papyrus emerged from the kitchen holding two bowls. He seated himself on the couch next to his brother and when he handed him a bowl, Sans could see that his brother had opted to make something easy, bow tie noodles in a simple alfredo sauce. It wasn’t until he took his first bite that Sans realized how hungry he was, he devoured the bowl in a matter of minutes. Sitting back he handed Papyrus the remote and the two brothers sat on the couch in comfortable silence, Sans feeling much better now that his magic was replenished. At length, Sans glance over at his brother only to see the taller skeleton had fallen asleep sitting up. Sans chuckled and grabbed the blanket that was folded and hung over the back of the couch, using his magic to lay it over his brother and pull him over to his half of the couch. Sans laid them both back so Papyrus’s head was resting on his chest. It had been a long last couple of days for both of them and while things weren’t perfect, they were definitely looking up. Within an hour Sans felt him drift of listening to the sounds of the TV and his brother’s gentle breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys notice any typos or inconsistencies feel free to let me know in the comments. I love constructive criticism, with one condition, it must be constructive criticism.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I've last posted, sorry about that. I've been busy with school and finals. Good news is this is the last chapter. I have a few other ideas for stories so I might get a few of them written down here

The nice feeling lasted for two days, the Sans went back to worrying about all the trouble he was causing his brother. Papyrus had been more attentive to his moods and emotions over the last few days, he had also been fussy, making sure Sans ate three meals a day and he even went as far to go to the shop and buy one of each different type of sleep aids they had so Sans could try them all out and see which worked best for him. Sans enjoyed the extra attention but it also made him uncomfortable. He couldn’t quite shake the feeling that he wasn’t worth the trouble.

On the third night, at around three in the morning, Sans found himself standing in front of his brother’s bedroom door. He had been awoken by a nightmare, one of the usual, just after eleven o’clock and had fitfully tossed and turned the rest of the night, trying his best to fall asleep but he just couldn’t. Every time he closed his eyes the nightmare was back, every time he closed his eyes he watched his brother disown him and moments later, be turned to dust by the human he had failed to notice creeping up behind him because he was too busy yelling at Sans. Normally at this point in the night Sans would have turned to the small comfort of the razorblades he usually kept stowed in a box underneath his bed. He could have done it tonight too, he hadn’t told Papyrus about the box and the taller skeleton hadn’t pushed him to say anything. 

But he had promised Papyrus. Tonight was going to be different he told himself, however it was easier said than done, he had been standing in front of Papyrus’s door for a good ten minutes now and he still couldn’t work up the courage to knock. His brother was tired, he could see it whenever he looked at him. The dark circles under his eyes had faded some but they hadn’t gone completely and his usual energy was subdued. For what felt like the tenth time Sans felt himself trying to talk himself down again. Papyrus must be tired, it would be rude to wake him up, especially after all he had done for Sans over the last few days. No, Papyrus had told him it didn’t matter what time it was, he would be disappointed if Sans didn’t keep his promise.

Gathering his resolve, Sans reached out for the doorknob, only to feel another wave of panic roll through him, he took a step back and was about to head back to his room and tough out the rest of the night when the door opened, revealing a sleepy looking Papyrus and startling Sans 

“SANS…?” Papyrus mumbled, rubbing his eye socket “ARE YOU OKAY? WHY ARE YOU ON THE FLOOR?” Sans was indeed on the floor, when the door had opened he had been startled and jumped back as far as he could from the door and was now huddled against the banister. Papyrus moved to kneel next to his brother. Trying to calm him down he reached out an arm to pull Sans into a hug but he only flinched away at the contact. 

“SANS?”

Hearing his name as second time seemed to snap Sans out of his daze, he looked up at his brother and finally spoke,

“sorry to wake ya paps... i didn’t want to bother you...i just… i just had a nightmare and felt like i...needed to… you know” he gestured with his hands, bringing his wrists into Papyrus’s view. Papyrus’s eye sockets widened with realization and he pulled Sans into another long hug before standing up, offering his brother a hand.

“LET’S GO DOWNSTAIRS, I CAN MAKE SOME TEA AND THEN WE CAN WATCH A MOVIE OR PLAY A BOARD GAME.”

Sans looked up at his brother from his seat on the floor, a warm feeling blossoming in his soul, Papyrus had believed him, no questions asked, he wasn’t pushing him to talk about anything he didn’t want to. He was just there for his brother. Sans let one of his rare genuine smiles turn up the corners of his mouth and took his brother’s offered hand, pulling himself from the floor. 

“okay paps.”

Papyrus gave Sans a soft smile when he heard his childhood nickname, not letting go of his brother’s hand he pulled Sans into the kitchen and seated him at the kitchen table while he pulled out the old teapot they had found in the dump from its resting place on the top shelf. He filled it with water and set it on the stove to boil, in the meantime he pulled out their assortment of tea bags, which wasn't more than a large plastic bag filled with smaller plastic bags that separated the different types of tea, and set it in front of Sans. Sans poked through the bag while Papyrus washed two mugs, he had been too tired to care about the dishes getting washed and all their mugs still contained traces of their morning coffee. Just as the water in the pot began to boil, Sans had selected two teabags from their large bag. One of the bags was Papyrus’s favorite, golden flower tea from Undyne, and the other was lemon and ginger.

Papyrus put a tea bag into each mug and poured in the boiling water. Standing up with a mug in each hand he walked to the living room and sat down on the couch. Sans followed him silently into the room and sat next to him. Papyrus handed him his mug and finally broke the silence.

“IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO IN PARTICULAR?”

Sans looked up from his tea and shook his head. He knew he should talk to his brother, he needed to explain what was going on. While his brother wasn’t pushing him, he felt bad for not answering at least some of his brother’s questions.

“IS A MOVIE FINE WITH YOU?”

Sans nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Papyrus looked at him, concerned with his brother’s sudden shift in mood.

“IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE THAT’S OKAY TOO”

“i guess i should probably give you some answers, huh?”

Almost immediately Papyrus answered, “IF YOU AREN’T COMFORTABLE TELLING ME I UNDERSTAND BUT KNOW THAT IF YOU NEED TO TALK I WILL ALWAYS LISTEN”

“it’s fine, i need to bro,” Sans took a deep breath to steady himself, “i guess…i just…i don’t... feel like all this is real ya know?” he looked over to Papyrus who wasn’t sure how to answer. “i feel strange in my own body...almost like it’s not mine. i get this weird…kinda floaty feeling...and when i don’t have the floaty feeling it feels like everything i wasn’t feeling rushes in all at once. I’m tired all the time, i have nightmares, i can't sleep even though i’m exhausted, i want to cry at every little thing and… and usually…the pain gives me something i can control, although sometimes it’s not enough and...i try to end it.” tears of shame and frustration began to roll down his cheeks but he didn’t stop. If he stopped now he wasn’t sure he could ever start again. “ it just seems like the world would be better off without me and i could finally get away from it all.” He stared at his hands, not sure what to do. 

“How many times?” Papyrus’s voice was small, lacking its usual confidence, he sounded like a child again, a scared child. When he looked over, Sans saw that his brother had silent tears running down his face. He quickly set his mug on the coffee table in front of him and scooted over to Papyrus on the couch, wrapping his arms around his brother. Papyrus leaned into his brother’s hug before Sans continued.

“six.” That was not an answer that Papyrus was glad to hear. He began to tremble and his tears turned into sobs. How many times had he pushed his brother thinking the older brother could handle it? How many times had Sans come home only for Papyrus to yell at him for being a disappointment when he really wasn’t? How many of those six times were because of him? 

Sans just sat quietly with his brother, letting him lean on him and rubbing soothing circles on his back and shoulders. Suddenly Papyrus felt ashamed, this wasn’t about him, right now it didn't matter how he felt. Sans had come to him for comfort and here he was, crying like a babybones. He took a few deep breaths and sat up straight, turning towards Sans.

“IM SO SORRY, THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME, I KNOW IT WAS HARD. IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING, ANYTHING AT ALL, WHENEVER YOU ARE FEELING THIS WAY I WILL BE THERE TO LISTEN.” His voice was determined and Sans was taken aback by the intensity of his brother’s words. He simply nodded to his brother and grabbed the remote off of the arm of the couch and handed it to his brother. Papyrus turned the channel to the cooking show, of the few channels they had in the underground, this one had the least violence and sometimes he found a new recipe to try out. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while until Sans was tired enough to fall asleep.

When Papyrus looked over and saw that his brother had fallen asleep leaning over the arm of the couch he chuckled and slowly scooped Sans up into his arms, carrying him up the stairs to Papyrus’s room. He didn’t think it was a good idea for his brother to spend the rest of the night alone when he was feeling dissociated. He gently set Sans down on his racecar bed and laid on the other side of the bed, trying to give Sans some personal space but not willing to leave him alone. 

He didn't realize how tired he was until he closed his eyes and found that they were too heavy for him to open again. They were lucky tomorrow was Saturday and they had the day off, knowing Sans, he would probably have no difficulty sleeping past noon and as he lay in bed dozing off, Papyrus didn't think that sounded like such a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end. I know this fic doesn't have very many readers but I do want to do more with this story. If you guys deem this story to be worthy of more content you can go visit my Tumblr, my username is [LaityAllyn](https://laityallyn.tumblr.com/). the ask box should be open and you can feel free to ask questions or suggest situations or scenarios that you are curious about and if I have the time I will try to write some short stories responding to the asks. Thank you everyone who has read this far, as always feel free to leave constructive criticism in the comments because I do check to see if there are any new ones.


End file.
